I think for me, a lot of things are either everything or they’re nothing. I’m very much a “label” kind of girl. I like to know what’s going on, I like to know how you feel and I wanted to know it about a week ago so if you haven’t told me, you’re behind schedule. I’m also very much a “let’s move this forward” type of girl. I don’t like to linger in the unknown because 1) it freaks me out and 2) anything can happen at this point. Are there other girls? I don’t know, but you can bet that I’ll ask. Are things going to be over tomorrow? I hope not because I’ve planned a secret relationship in my head and that breakup would be tragic. So yes, it’s either everything or it’s nothing. I’m fine with whatever, you just need to let me know so I can prepare myself for this and not let the relationship in my head progress if we aren’t progressing.
For me, it’s also super frustrating to know that I want something really bad but to be unsure of what the other person involved wants. Like I said, it’s really hard for me to just kind of sit in the middle. I’m not saying that I jump into relationships, I’ve had so few of them but I know when I want something, and I don’t want just everything. I’m very picky about who I spend my time with because I’ve been let down quite a few times, so my time is precious. I don’t spend time with just anybody unless I’m positive that this could be something.
The middle is comfortable for some people though, and that’s what annoys me. We aren’t all middle people. Some people, like myself, like to know what the hell is going on. I think people assume that once you tell someone you like them, you have to date. I’m not asking to date you, I’m just asking if you like me or not. It’s actually quite simple to tell someone you like them. That’s what I don’t get, I don’t understand how some people can’t be honest and say it. Instead, it’s like a game, and I don’t do games. I cut people off once I realize they’re playing a game because I can’t do it and I don’t put up with that. If a guy wants to play a game, they can go play it with another girl because I definitely won’t be doing that. Maybe that’s one of my downfalls. I don’t settle for just anybody because I know what I’m worth and once someone is messing with my worth, they’re gone. If I feel in the slightest that they don’t realize and respect that I’m a human with feelings and emotions, just like them, I cut them off. It’s really easy for me to stop caring about a person which, is a downfall. I only give out so many chances before I have to protect myself and walk away and unfortunately, I don’t see that happening more. I see a lot of girls sticking around for relationships that aren’t going anywhere and 99% of the time, it leaves the girl hurt because the male in the equation is the one that calls the shots.
I think as a creator, influencer, blogger, whatever you want to call it, you’re supposed to portray this perfect life that’s put together, and you have the ideal filter for everything. But, I’m not that perfect person, and while I may act like I have my shit together, I most certainly don’t. I have the same problems that ever other single twenty-something girl has, and I’m not scared to admit it. Life is a mess, and it’s even harder to figure out when somebody is a middle person and the other isn’t.