Well, here we are.

Well, here we are.

This post is going to be a bit different than my normal outfit posts. It’s going to be a bit of a more emotional post and definitely longer so buckle up, we’ve got a lot to cover. This past year in my life has been really, really weird for me. But it’s been weird in a good way. I guess I’ll start from the beginning of last school year and take you guys along to where I’m at now.

So, beginning of last August I moved into my first apartment and as exciting as that sounds and truly was, it wasn’t. I didn’t realize the concept of money that well and I didn’t plan. I learned things the hard way when November hit and realized I didn’t have enough money for rent (yes, I had a job and a decent paying job at that but look, ya girl loves clothes and more importantly, loves food) because I had spent it all on groceries and other unnecessary items. So the rest of the year was a catch-up year for me. I was making ends meet, and I was paying rent, paying for groceries, I was paying for it all, but that didn’t leave much room for having fun. I was still able to go out, but I was worried about the cost of cover and stupid things like that. So that caused a world of stress.

In August I went through formal recruitment again, and I didn’t get into the chapter I originally wanted, and that’s fine. I went into recruitment with a preconceived idea of what I wanted, and it turns out, that wasn’t for me. The chapter that was for me wasn’t even on campus yet. So yes. I joined the new sorority, and that nickname stuck with us. Everyone that joined would kind of get the “oh you’re in that new sorority, ” and people definitely thought we joined because we couldn’t get into a better chapter but truth be told, my chapter is the best. There, I said it. My chapter was the best chapter for me, and that’s all that matters. So anyway, I joined the new sorority called Alpha Omicron Pi, and I gave it my all. I gave it everything I had, and I met an incredible group of girls. I met the most hardworking, genuine and devoted girls than I had ever met before. And no, I didn’t pay for my friends, they came naturally. They came naturally because we all shared the same underlying beliefs and ideas of how things should be. Yes, when you put 100+ girls in a room you’re going to have groups and fights, but the fights were like fights with a sibling because at the end of the day, we ARE sisters and we ARE family, and we DO love each other.

In October I started dating the one person I fought through hell for and it was good. I finally had what I wanted, and I couldn’t really complain. October was fun and a lot of good things were happening.

In November I had the honor of attending the partnership event with Vercase and the Born This Way Foundation in Chicago. With that, I was able to speak at the event and share how the Born This Way Foundation has helped me and many other people. I also was able to share my experience with cyberbullying, how it affected me and how I rose above that. Yes, that was in middle school but what people don’t realize is that it sticks with you. The way I view people, the way I act, the way I do things, it’s all because of what happened to me in middle school. ALSO, I HAD THE BEST VEGAN RUEBEN OF MY LIFE THERE.

In December I went to England and wow, incredible. I spent three weeks there with my then boyfriend, his family, his friends and let me tell you, it was crazy. For starters, I’m not the most outgoing person in the world as most of you know. My Instagram may perceive me as a super outgoing, social person but I’m not. I’m super shy so interacting with alllll new people for a solid three weeks was crazy. THE FOOD. Oh my god the food. Guys, I still talk about those stupid mince pies, just ask my mom.

I came back from England in January, basically the shape of a basketball. Okay, not really but I definitely did gain some weight because I ate all the food and drank all the wine. You win some, you lose some and I definitely lost because I wasn’t happy with how I felt and it was because of how puffy I felt. Winter break was coming to an end, and I didn’t want to go back to school. I hadn’t wanted to go back to school since I started there in August 2015. My parents joke that I couldn’t have my car there my freshman year because I would have packed up my room and made it home before they did when they helped me move in and they’re probably right. I wouldn’t have stayed because I wasn’t happy there but I tried to be. I wasn’t in the right friend group my freshman year so that didn’t help me but this year was different. I had the friends, but it still wasn’t clicking. I still wasn’t happy, and so I cried the entire three-hour drive back. And this is where the fun begins…

I got back to school and tried to have the time of my life. But I somehow couldn’t. I couldn’t get myself to enjoy it how everybody around me was. I’d see snapchats of people out, and I was jealous because I didn’t enjoy it like they did. I knew from the start that this wasn’t my home, but it was their home. This is where they wanted to go to school, not where I wanted to go. Sure it didn’t help that I would probably rather stay in more than some people but, I didn’t like it.

In February is when I started to feel a real change. I had this idea in my head that I couldn’t shake. I couldn’t get over the idea that I didn’t think I wanted to be with my boyfriend anymore. The same guy I fought for, for over a year. The girl who saw a future with somebody woke up one day and didn’t see that anymore. But the truth is, I didn’t just wake up and see that, it was gradual and I felt it. I expected it after some of the things that happened in England, but I threw those thoughts in the back of my mind and went on with my life.

Mind you that this boyfriend of mine lived in Colorado at the time so I went to visit that week of spring break and well, that sealed the deal for me. We already had other things going on at the time, but he pushed it off because it didn’t fit his schedule like how other things didn’t fit with what he wanted. So for that week, I sat in an apartment. Not just while he was gone, but while he was there too. We literally didn’t do anything besides for one day. I’m not the type of person who needs to be constantly doing something or doing extravagant things but come on, nobody and I mean literally, NOBODY wants to just sit in an apartment for an entire week. So tell me how much that would seal the deal of what you’ve already been feeling. So I came home from that trip and decided to give him a second chance. Or well, so I told him. I got home and couldn’t do that. I kept trying, I really did. But everything at that point was annoying me. Everything was how he wanted it, and I’m a very “I’ll do what I want” type of person, so that didn’t go well with me. Ok, clearly it did for a year and a half, but I got tired of it. I just realized that I couldn’t do that again with everything I was feeling, I needed to end it.

April came, and I still hadn’t ended it but I couldn’t at that time. But then again, he couldn’t be there for something I needed after everything I did for him. I needed one thing, and he couldn’t be there. So after that, I ended it and never looked back. The beginning of April was terrible, but after that, it was freeing. I had never felt more free than I had for the last year and a half. I was free to do what I wanted when I wanted. One thing I was able to do was to go out and do whatever I wanted. He claimed he knew people that would watch me when I went out. So if I went home with my group of GIRLS, I would receive 14 calls that night wondering why I went home with somebody. Sorry, didn’t know my friends were a big deal. But okay. Not only would I wake up to 14 calls, but I’d also wake up to texts from my mom because, during a majority of the relationship, he felt the need to run to my mom everything I didn’t do something how he wanted me to. So…since I wasn’t doing things on his terms, he hacked my Instagram. Mmhmm, yup. Got on my Instagram account and then tried to say someone in my sorority did it and sent him screenshots from it. But, he couldn’t tell me who and tried to make me turn on my friends by telling me it was somebody in my group. What a pathetic move. I learned my worth real quick and didn’t put up with that so it was over just like that and I never once looked back because fuck him for that.

The summer was freeing, and it was amazing. I was living life for me, not for anybody else. I was doing what I wanted, when I wanted. I was talking to someone I definitely shouldn’t have been but that made it fun. It made it exciting. I was happy, and that’s all that mattered. I didn’t think about the boy who held me back. I went on a date with someone who encouraged me to start all of this, and here we are now, THANK YOU. I figured out my diet and what works for me. I figured out that I really do like eating healthy which is funny because, in high school, I didn’t give a shit. Well, I did. I wanted to be “skinny, ” but ate whatever I wanted, or I would really restrict my food and calories which isn’t good. So I’ve been eating a vegetarian diet for over 2 years and a vegan diet for almost 2 years (holy shit that sounds crazy! How is that even possible) and I was a total junk food vegan for the loooongest time and yeah I felt better but not my best. So this summer I finally figured out that vegetables and fruits really do make me feel good. So for once, I was finally the happiest I had ever been with my body and my mind, and that felt amazing.

So August came, school started, and I was heading back to Springfield not happy about it. For me, it had always been one of those where I’d say I was going to transfer but I never did and I always gave Missouri State one more chance, but I couldn’t do it again. I hated it, again. So, I got a new job in St. Louis which required me to be home a lot (which I loved), and then I made the decision that I was tired of being unhappy. I was tired of not wanting to go back to school because I should love where I was going but I couldn’t love it like everybody else was. I couldn’t love it like the people around me so I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I left.

So this brings me to now. I learned a lot about myself and about life during this past year and a half which I don’t regret. I learned that whatever I want for myself, I have to go out and get for myself. I learned the value of money. I learned the value of people, and I learned how to cut people out of my life that don’t add value, and I learned how to be happy with me, and that’s the most important thing. I wanted to go this whole post without referencing Taylor Swift, but she said ” she lost him but found herself, and somehow that was everything, ” and that’s so true. I did lose him, I did that to myself but I also found myself and learned how to love myself and laugh at myself, and I’d take that over a boy any day.

Recently I had somebody walk away and completely shift my entire point of view of myself. I know that may make me seem weak, but honestly, I think it makes me seem vulnerable, and unfortunately, I do wear my heart on my sleeve. After my last relationship, I built myself up, and I was doing better than I ever had been. I was comfortable in my body, I was confident, and I was living life for myself. I was doing what I wanted when I wanted to and how I wanted. It seemed to shift when I had to question whether this person actually liked me or not. I heard all of these great things, but I didn’t really see it. I was being told everything he knew I wanted to hear, but I didn’t see that payoff. So once again, I put everything I had into something just for the other person to not give me the same. Your worth is notdetermined by a boy who doesn’t see all the good that you are. BUT, I also have to remember how far I have come in just a few months. If you asked me last November if I thought I’d be where I was now, there’s no way in hell I would say yes. So, with that being said, girls, go out and make the future you want for YOURSELF because nobody is going to give it to you. Everything that you want in life is 100% maintainable as long as you work hard for it. Things aren’t going to come easy to you. Your dream job isn’t going to land on your lap one day, and your dream guy most certainly isn’t going to come to you without being the best version of yourself. Work at the relationships you want to built and cut off the dead ends from your life because all we have are ourselves. So don’t look back in a year, 5 years or 10 years and wish you would have been happier back then, go make that happen. But also remember that you are solid gold, and nobody can take that away from you, no matter how “cool” the guy is or seems to be because let’s be honest, he’s probably an asshole anyway. Remember this, fuck boys are friends with fuck boys. So chances are if he’s friends with them, he is one, or they will encourage him to act like one. He doesn’t like you if he just wants you for your body and you don’t owe him that. Just have fun in life and laugh your way through it because if you can’t laugh at yourself, nobody can.

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10 of my favorite things

10 of my favorite things

IMG_9739.JPGI realized a few days ago that most of my posts had been strictly outfits which are fine, but it doesn’t give you all the opportunity to get to know me! I’m a pretty fun person if you ask me. JK, I’m kind of boring, but that’s fine too.

1. The way warm coffee tastes on a cool fall morning. Or just any morning. Or just coffee…mainly just coffee. Waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee reminds me of being at my grandparent’s house, and that’s really special to me.

2. Taylor Swift….I mean, it wouldn’t be a favorites post without my girl T. Swift?! If you’re ever so lucky to know me in person (sarcasm…a whole lot of sarcasm) then you know that I’m literally obsessed. If you don’t know me in person, then you’re lucky.
3. MY DOG! How could I not include her?! She’s my absolute favorite thing in the entire world.
4. Nice, genuine people. Something I’ve encountered a lot of recently is people thinking that they’re too cool to be nice. News flash, we all put our pants on one leg at a time. You’re not too cool so stop acting like you are.
5. Vegan desserts. If you didn’t know, I’ve been vegan for a little over a year now, and vegan desserts are the way to my heart. I guess vegan anything. Ohhhhh like the Rueben from Chicago Diner. Yum. Now I want that and want to go to Chicago just for a sandwich. This is so bad.
6. Instagram. This one is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me, and I feel so bad including this as one of my favorites but it really really is. You can find anything you want on Instagram.
7. Anything fashion related. I’ve always loved fashion and putting together outfits but never really thought I could do anything with it, until recently.
8. My family. My mom is going to be shocked with she reads this one, believe me. But it’s true. I wouldn’t be anywhere without them, especially my mom. She’s my biggest supporter AND biggest critic. She’s going to tell me how it is and whip someone’s butt into shape if they’re rude.
9. Traveling. I love everything about traveling from packing, flying, and being somewhere. A lot of people hate and dread flying, but I love it! I also love a good city (i.e., New York) and finding a new place that I love and new people. I am such a city girl at heart so really anywhere besides St. Louis is good.  But, ya girl knows how to sit her butt on a beach for a week if that’s possible.
10. Receiving mail/packages. There’s nothing better than coming home to a card, letter or package waiting for you. This could be why I like online shopping so much, and that’s an issue.

England.

England.

England,
You’ve been nothing short of a dream. At the beginning of this trip, three weeks felt like such a long time to be away from home during winter break. It seemed like a lifetime, and it didn’t look like my return date was in the future but honestly, three weeks flew by. I kept getting asked what my favorite part was, but I don’t think I have a favorite part. Every day could constitute as a favorite moment because every minute, every second was so new to me. New people, new places, new foods (that I loved but clearly my face decided otherwise), and new memories. All of the people I met in the last three weeks were all so kind.

The first night in the pub was interesting, to say the least…but that wasn’t the only exciting moment, something always kept me on my toes. Mad Friday was indeed mad. Old Trafford was fun and different. Unlike anything, I’d seen or been to before. New Year’s Eve/Day was just an experience within itself. But, even the days where we didn’t do anything, I liked those as well. It gave me the opportunity not to be a “tourist” and just slow down and live instead of being constantly going.

London, York, Lincoln, Cleethorpes, Beverley, Hull, Manchester. Every place is something new, yet they all have a cohesive feel. They somehow feel cozy with the dated buildings that are most certainly older than the United States. I didn’t go to one place and not like it. Why? It was new. I saw everything with a fresh pair of eyes, so caught up taking every moment in. Every turn was something new. On one side of the street you can have modern looking buildings, and on the other side, you can have the dated buildings like I said. I wish I could have captured everything with a camera, but that’s not something you can capture. The camera doesn’t see it how you do, it doesn’t pick up on the little details that catch your eyes, it doesn’t capture the feel of the location, and it only can get so much in the frame.

But I can’t thank Jakes family enough for making me feel like I was apart of the family. Always asking me how I was, if I needed anything, etc. I didn’t feel left out. I was a part of the family during the short three weeks. I wasn’t with my family during the holidays, and I missed that, but I experienced new things. New places. Holidays in different countries.

So, with all of that said. I miss it so much already even though I’ve only been home for a week. It’s safe to say that I’ll be returning sometime in the near future.

Week one video

Week two video

Week three video
I also can’t stop thinking about an Indian/chips with curry sauce/mince pies.

Why Alpha Omicron Pi?

Why Alpha Omicron Pi?

With initiation coming up and being installed as a chapter, I’ve been asking myself and others have been asking us, why Alpha Omicron Pi? For many of us, our stories are different on why we joined but at the end of the day, we all have the same core values which lead us to this amazing chapter of ours.

For those who don’t know (which I’m sure isn’t many) I was supposed to go to Ole Miss and I even wrote a post called “Dear Ole Miss” (you should check it out) in which I proclaimed my love for a school I wasn’t at. It was as if I was proclaiming my love for a boy who didn’t want me back, but much more difficult than that. During the summer leading up to freshman year, I was getting my recommendation letters for different chapters at Ole Miss and I had a few in mind that I loved and one that I would have died for. Long story short, I didn’t end up at Ole Miss, obviously. For me, I went through formal recruitment twice. My freshman year (the first time through formal recruitment) I liked a few sororities and when it came to preference night, I dropped. I didn’t get asked back to the houses which I preferred but I was asked back to an amazing chapter but it wasn’t one where I felt at home. So like I said, I dropped. I went through freshman year after losing my grandma really confused on what I was even doing. I wasn’t making the friends I thought I would have been making at Ole Miss, I wasn’t having the sorority life like I thought I would have had, I didn’t have anything going according to my plan. That scared me.

For me, I went through formal recruitment twice. My freshman year (the first time through formal recruitment) I liked a few sororities and when it came to preference night, I dropped. I didn’t get asked back to the houses which I preferred but I was asked back to an amazing chapter but it wasn’t one where I felt at home. So like I said, I dropped. I went through freshman year after losing my grandma really confused on what I was even doing. I wasn’t making the friends I thought I would have been making at Ole Miss, I wasn’t having the sorority life like I thought I would have had, I didn’t have anything going according to my plan. That scared me. Freshman year was coming to a close, I wasn’t talking to the guy who I would have done anything for, he didn’t even know if he was coming back to the US and when he did, I wasn’t the first to know (plot twist, we are together now). I had the continuous feeling of I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I was trying and nothing was coming out of it. I was at one of my worst places I’ve been (and there have been a few of those) and I couldn’t tell anybody. I didn’t have friends who i trusted enough, I didn’t feel like I could talk to my mom about it because it would have come back to her not having a mom anymore, I couldn’t talk to the one person I wanted to talk to the most and that was really difficult for me. I got in a relationship that I probably. I shouldn’t have. I was happy but my heart wasn’t in it and I feel terrible for that. I strung it out just to feel something and I shouldn’t have. I lost the people I called friends for that year and school ended.

Summer ended and sophomore year was upon us. Once again, I felt like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be but I decided to give recruitment another try. It had to work this time. Weeeelllll it didn’t. I went through, dropped on pref day again but something did happen. I went to a meeting for some sorority called Alpha Omicron Pi, I had heard of it but I didn’t know anything other than a few people I know at Ole Miss are in it. I went and learned more about it and realized why nothing had worked out before. I realized that their values truly do line up with mine, I felt like I could be myself for once. I didn’t have to put on a different face when in my meetings. Bid day came, I received my bid and when we started to learn more about the chapter, things really started to make sense for me. My grandma’s favorite favorite favorite bird AND baseball team were cardinals, our color is cardinal red. My grandmas’ favorite flower was a rose, our flower is a rose. Things like that started to happen and I started to learn more that really just made sense. Things clicked and it was almost like I had an “ah ha”moment. While this year still might not be the best, I know that I have over 100 sisters that I could count on. When I joined Alpha Omicron Pi, I didn’t realize what I would actually be receiving when I joined. Yeah, I have a few t-shirts, I’ve done some pretty cool things with my sisters. My favorite being Yell Like Hell when even though we didn’t win, or place, the ENTIRE room (I’m not talking about 100 people, probably close to 1,500 people) chanted “AOII” over and over again. But I’d do without all of that just to be a founding member of the Delta Gamma chapter of Alpha Omicron Pi with my amazing sisters who are so talented, so genuine, so funny and just willing to do anything for each and every one of us.

Alpha Omicron Pi is home. It’s the girls. It’s the experiences. It’s the values. It’s the leadership opportunities. It’s everything that you’d want when you’re away from home. Alpha Omicron Pi is home to me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Black&White.

5a9b321b2062761edceb20a033f31bebconflict

[verb kuh n-flikt; noun kon-flikt]
verb (used without object)
1. to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance,or in opposition; clash:

 

I love concrete answers. I love when somebody can answer a question with a simple yes or no. I think for me I like that because it means that person feels so strongly about their answer and that doesn’t lead to any confusion for either party.

I think gray areas often lead to a lot of confusion which can lead to a lot of disappointments. Often I find that when things tend to be more in the gray spectrum, I end up more disappointed than I would have if the answer was a simple no. I so often find myself getting my hopes up that when things do end up being gray, I assume that it’s a yes. So then in my head, I don’t even really think of the possibility that it could be no. Even if I do think to myself “okay this probably won’t happen” I still tell myself that its going to happen. But when things are so clear and they are black or white, it’s easy to know how to feel. You don’t often find yourself feeling conflicted when you have a definite answer bemuse the answer is right there for you. You often don’t have much deciding to do when it’s given to you. But life isn’t like that. We live in the gray moments and those moments make us who we are and they define us.

Life is gray. Life is feeling conflicted a lot of the time and trying to not let it consume you because if you let it, you’ll end up crazy.The feeling of being conflicted can chew you up and spit you right out. I live in a perpetual state of “what if”. What if this happened? What if that happened? What if? That’s how I am. I’m always questioning how things would be if something had been different but that’s not the way to live. But what do you do when both of your options seem right? What do you do when something you’ve waited for forever finally happens but you don’t know what to do?

Even if the answer is so clear of what to do, it can still cause a feeling of being conflicted. It’s when both things are so right and you want both but you can’t have both. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. You can’t have two things.  You can’t always have your cake and eat it too. It’s like when someone tells you that a person is bad for you but you want it anyways. Life throws curve balls at you that you never thought would happen but we don’t have the option to stop that from happening. We have to be prepared for everything and anything to happen. Life is so unpredictable. Life is gray.

You Are In Love.

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*This has been sitting in my drafts for over 80 days and I needed to post it because it was bothering me just sitting there with all of the unsaid words*

I think for many of us there comes a time when we realize we are in love. Maybe not everybody thinks this way but I think for a lot of people, there’s a certain point where you realize “holy shit I’m in love”. It’s weird.

Love is crazy and it can really chew you up and spit you right back out if you aren’t careful. But unfortunately, I think the “safe” love is often the most boring kind of love. Sometimes the best love comes from circumstances that are unusual. Sometimes the most intense and pure love is from something that’s the most unexpected. I think the best love often comes from someone we don’t really see ourselves with, or the people we try to push away but they keep coming back. Sometimes it happens to be the people you once thought were annoying and wanted nothing to do with…until you finally meet them.

For me, I think I really realized I was in love was when I booked a plane ticket a few short hours before the plane left. If any of you know me, you know that I’m not crazy adventurous and I like to do what I know and stick to that. I don’t typically do the unexpected. Except for that day. But even then I hadn’t realized I was in love. I didn’t realized it until I was listening to my music on the plane, when You Are In Love (by the one and only T. Swift because who else would I really be listening to) came on. I didn’t think anything of it until the song ended and I had to keep playing it over and over until it really hit me. I realized that I felt so in love. I realized in that moment that I don’t want to let go of what I have until I absolutely have to. I knew that what I was feeling was so valid at that moment.

Sometimes the best kind of love happens to be when the circumstances aren’t the most ideal. It’s when you realize you can’t run to that person. You can’t call them or talk to them because theres a 6 hour time difference. You can’t talk to them because quite frankly, they don’t know if they are coming back. It’s the nights where all you want to do is talk to that person but you can’t.  Wondering if you’re ever going to see them again. My mom claims that I’m too picky and too selective but that’s only because they aren’t you.

 

Dear High School Seniors.

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I was in the same position you’re in now a year ago. I remember feeling like I was stuck in high school and I couldn’t wait to get out of high school. I was SO excited for college that I started to no longer live in the moment of senior year. I mentally was not there. But my advise for you is to truly take in every single moment you have left in the next two months. This is the last month in the comfort of your town you grew up in. In a few months you will all be going to different schools and it will be a new experience for everyone. You won’t see your best friends everyday, but you’ll make new best friends. You won’t see your family everyday, so take in the moments you have with them.

Live in the moment, even if it’s just for the next month. Prom is coming up. Don’t fall victim to thinking it will be a fairytale because something could go wrong. You can’t let that ruin your prom day. Yeah, maybe every guy you asked to prom said no so you take your best friend who is a year younger than you. That’s OKAY. I took my best friend and I’m so glad I did because I had so much fun with her. Graduation is coming up and it’s a really weird feeling to walk across that stage and accept your diploma. You did it. You survived high school. But don’t run from high school while you’re still there.

If I could, I would love to go back to high school even if it’s just for a week. That’s a week in my hometown, surrounded by my best friends. That’s a week of high school sports and high school activities. That’s a week of spending time with your family and a week of home cooked meals.

This month will go by extremely extremely fast and it’s so easy to feel like you’re past high school but let me tell you, you’re not. Live in the moment. Live in high school for the amount of time you have left. I spent most of my senior year thinking I was basically in college and I regret it. I regret it because while I could have been living in the moment with my friends, family, MY DOG, I wasn’t. I was too busy planning my dorm room, picking my orientation date, planning on meeting all of these new friends that I had been talking to since October.

Go to all of the high school parties you can because parties are so much different in college. Cheer on your high school teams a couple of more times while you can. Take in the sound of the lockers and the sound of all the people crammed into the hallway by the marketing department and the math department because eventually you won’t hear those sounds again. You won’t hear your best friend since kindergartens voice in the crowd of people anymore. You won’t hear those people anymore. You won’t hear the USA chant anymore. Enjoy being able to go home for lunch because I’d give anything to go home for lunch-even if it’s for 20 minutes. (I really wish I could tell you that the school food gets better but it doesn’t. It’s gross and if you’re like me, you’ll avoid the dining hall at all costs so truly, enjoy going home for lunch or going out to eat with your friends for lunch).

Live in the moment now because your last time being surrounded by people you’ve been in school with since you were 5 ends at graduation. Graduation is the last place your entire class will be together. After graduation, you have the opportunity to become whoever you want so live in the moment as who you are now, not who you want to be in college. Because even when you come back to high school to visit, it will all be different.